What is art?

What is it to you?

To me, it’s therapy

And must be. 

Dealing with bipolar, schizoid personality disorder, depression and spectrum disorder led to intentional self harm in so many ways. Art has saved me from most of that…. Most of it.

Art can’t cure everything but it’s a good start.

I never wanted to be an artist but I was always creating. It mostly started in middle school when I needed to write thoughts down and keep them, but l wanted to keep them private. This is basically the root of all of my artwork. 

Manic throws of paint combined with the afterthoughts of sanity and the reconciliation of feelings with deliberate dots is the best way I can explain how I’ve lived my life. Lots of mistakes and lots of corrections. My paintings are a collection of thoughts and feelings. Even commissioned pieces get thrown in the mix of ideas and thoughts driven by depression and manic moments. Problems created, problems solved. 

2013 is really the year that changed everything. We suffered a home invasion and I was shot through the neck, at very close range but thanks to my wife and her quick actions I survived. It was a long recovery process, but after that near death experience, I felt alive again. For a long time, I was sure that I would be shot one day and when it finally happened, I was happy. I felt sane again. I stopped all the antipsychotics and anti anxiety meds. 

There was a time when being overwhelmed led to bashing myself in the face. It comes out in the art now.I can’t think of a greater gift.

Creating is special. It’s something that I encourage constantly. There’s a special feeling that comes with creating and expressing and sharing with others. 

It took me years to take what I was doing seriously enough to save it. Then more years to show what I was doing, but I still wasn’t ready to sell anything. In my opinion it sucked, but it meant a lot to me. I’ll never create something that I wouldn’t personally keep forever.

Mental health plays a big part in my life. Self medicating and distracting with art isn’t the best. It’s not even good, but I’ll tell you that it’s better than it used to be. I love creating rather than destroying now. It almost feels the same and WAY more productive. 

I don’t have a statement or position. Despite my paintings, I see most everything in life in tiny tiny bits of black and white. I know you see gray from where you stand. Stand differently. Get closer. Change your angle. It’s not how you think it is. Storm off and think. Things change quickly sometimes with one step. 

This whole thing is supposed to be an artist's statement and I don’t know what that really means but do the art you love, do it with confidence and never throw it away. It’s a piece of you. Let it grow.

David Underwood